A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given a menu.

When time to order the sheik orders for himself and the harem, and also asks for a basket of apples for the rooster. The waiter thinks it a bit strange, but does as is asked, and brings the apples for the rooster. One by one, the rooster eats all of the apples. Having
noticed this, the sheik orders another basket of apples for the rooster. Again the rooster eats all the apples.

When summoned again, the waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.

The sheik explains:
"I was in the desert one day and found a lamp.
It was a bit dirty so I rubbed it to clean it.
Just as I did, out came a Genie and granted me three wishes...

My first wish was to have an endless supply of money.
My second wish was to have many beatiful women.
And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock!

A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night.

The woman on the other end of the phone said, "My wee puppy is together with the dog from next door and I can't get them apart."

The vet asked her if she tried throwing a bucket of water on them.
She said "Yes, but it didn't work."

He said, "Did you try hitting them with a broom."
She said, "Yes, but that didn't work either."

He then said, "Well Ma'am here's what you do. Hang up. I'll call you back. When the phone rings, they will separate."

She said, "Do you really think that will work?"
He said, "Well it just did for me!

The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.

He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!"

The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked"

The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.

The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!

This man walks in a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer?"


The Man says, "Well, my son has just come home from college and I found out he's gay."

Joe says, "Man that's terrible," and gives the man his whiskey and beer.

Two weeks go by and the same man goes to the bar... He walks in and says, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer?"

Joe says, "Well hell, what's the matter this time?"

The man says, "Well my other boy just come home from college and I found out that HE'S gay."

Joe says, "Man, that's a damn shame," and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey.

Three weeks go by and the man comes bursting through the doors and says, "Joe, I want you to fix me up with every f*cking drink you got in the house!"

Joe says, "Geez, doesn't anyone in your family love women?"

The man says, "Yeah, I just found out my wife does...